w.atching the w.orld unw.ind

Today's lyric:
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"Kick-ass little girl going to a party
Eating blue Smarties cos she's rock'n'roll
Gonna do some coke and maybe do some poking
Gonna spin some records for a Jack and Coke
Wasted little dj, filling up the floor
And your records are boring cos you're cool as hell
Everybody's flying and everybody's sliding
Slowly suiciding in a tiled cell."

Graham Coxon: "No good time"
From the album: "Happiness in magazines"

I was awokened at 5'ish by the hooting of an owl. (I'm no twitcher, so couldn't tell you what breed of owl it was)

Simultaneously (and at the same time) one of several Burmese decided to scratch its ear, then rapidly shake its head, so that - combined - it was as if the damn owl was flapping round the bedroom.

And so after that slightly worrying image, it was blummin' near impossible to get back to sleep.

Labels: Owlage

Today's lyric:
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"I can see my lifetime pilin' up
Reaching from my bedroom to the stars
I can see the house where I was born
When I was growin' up - they say that
I could never keep my trousers up
I remember days and crazy nights
Are there any pirates on this ship?
And if they sober up - they'll have us home by morning."

Talking Heads: "Lifetime piling up"
From the album: "Once in a lifetime"

When my unusually-empty-for-a-Monday train eventually limped into East Croydon, I (and several gazillion others) hurtled over to a train which was neon-signing "To London Bridge" and, yes, over the train's own Tannoy was confirmation of my intended destination.

So I was a tad surprised to be driven over the Thames - when I normally walk over it - and with said several gazillion others was deposited at Victoria?

Isn't the Tube a fragrant and calm ocean of tranquility during the rush-hour...

Am I blummin' glad it's a short week.

Labels: Commutage

Today's lyric:
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"Like some kind of witch with blue fingers in mittens
She smells like the cat and the neighbours she sickens.
The black and white t.v. has long seen a picture
The cross on the wall is a permanent fixture,
The postman delivers the final reminders
She sells off her silver and poodles in China."

Squeeze: "Labelled with love"
From the album: "The Hits"

So as I won the competition, a little piece of automotive history, nay, legend, now resides on the mantle.

(even the cat's bored with my bragging, Debster..)

Today's lyric:
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"It will sparkle, it is beauty
It is broken, it is free.
Tell me stick or twist, tell me which will it be?"

Mansun: "Naked Twister"
From the album: "Attack of the grey lantern"

Thought I'd better pop in and make sure the old place is still ship-shape?

Today I shall be mainly humping* computers around the office, following a re-shuffle.

Now, where did I leave that orange-handled screwdriver...?

* not in the Biblical sense

Today's lyric:
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"Does the world get faster day by day? You better get a clear head, hey
What a shock? You better start to pray.
Even the dumb got something to say
Even the blind ain't lookin' away
But you better get a clear head, hey."

Graham Parker and The Rumour: "Clear head"
From the album: "Stick to me"

So it's the day of your driving test. Again.

Now - if you're using your own car, go and find the garage key now. It won't put you in the right frame of mind if you have to break the lock by gently reversing against the door. And deliberate damage is not covered by your insurance policy.

You should also have been practising de-erring. Following every instruction to turn right or left with "Errr" will display an ignorance of where your own arse and elbow actually are.

Before you even get into the car, your examiner will want to establish that you have reasonable eyesight. After he asks you to read a nearby registration plate, do not laugh with false good humour, saying "What car? Where? The examiner may be a humorless bastard who's heard that one several times before.

The examiner will want to put you at your ease and you should reciprocate. Therefore do not instruct him to "Make sure that seat belt's tight. My mate whacked the windscreen when I had to slam on the anchors."

During the test, you are expected to display courtesy to other road users. Do not flash hearses to make them speed up. The examiner may be a humorless bastard who's just lost his mother.

You should also avoid yelling out of the window "What do you think these L-plates are? Fcuking Scotch mist?" The examiner may be a humorless bastard who hails from the other side of Hadrian's Wall.

It is highly likely you'll be tested in an area you're both familiar with. You should therefore refrain from muttering "I've had 'er" when passing female pedestrians. She may be the examiner's daughter/wife.

Also avoid commenting on local properties. "What possessed them to paint it that colour?" might get you marked down if the examiner happens to live there..

Should you happen to pass a building displaying a prominent clock, do not exclaim "Christ, is that the time? I'd better get a ripple on, I'm meeting me mate down the pub after this." The examiner might be a god-botherer, or a humorless and teetotal bastard or now very, very scared?

Finally, when you're failed again, do not leave on a sour note with "Cheers, pal. I bleedin' hope I don't get you again." This will guarantee - with a racing certainty -that you will definitely be sharing the same white-knuckle ride again next time.

Labels: Public Service Announcementage

Today's lyric:
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"I wonder what we'll play for you tonight
Something heavy or something light
Something to set your soul alight
I wonder how we'll answer when you say
"We don't like you - go away,
"Come back when you've learnt to play."

The Adverts: "One Chord Wonders"
From the album: "Crossing the Red Sea"

Not sure if there is such a word, but that's how it feels this morning, having arrived at the office with soaking-wet trouser bottoms which will flap coldly around my ankles until they eventually dry out.

Not that it's any consolation, but judging from the OB presenters on the various news items this morning, the wet stuff is UK-wide?

Hey Ho, enjoy your weekends, y'all

Labels: Climatology

Today's lyric:
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"She left her European town
Before she let the family down
She couldn't stand the massacre game
So she dyed her hair, adopted another name
With the evidence of passing out
Stamped on her hand; she glows in the dark
He thinks she's from another planet."

Elvis Costello: "Sulky Girl"
From the album: "Brutal Youth"

My only uncle is to be buried tomorrow.

There was always a suggestion of 'bad blood' between him and Pa, and so as families we were never as close - as kids - as we were with my Aunt's two daughters?

Logistics mean I cannot get to the funeral, so Bruv is doing the honours transport-wise for the old man, to the cemetary, wake and back.

Bit of a sombre subject for the first post for a few days, but it's been 'kin busy round these parts of late.

T'ings will improve.

Labels: Funerage

Today's lyric:
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"Hand out the arms and ammo
We're going to blast our way through here
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right
And you know that it's right."

Thunderclap Newman: "Something in the air"
From the album: "Hollywood Dreams"

With no social or diy-related committments at the weekend, it was a time for some new year pottering.

To free up some space in the tip that is the understairs cupboard, I relocated the cd collection (sorted by artist, of course) into another cupboard where they will no doubt moulder 'til eternity? Well, they're now all iPodded (and backed up onto a separate external hard drive, kept apart from the player itself just in case we get burgled.) I can't remember when I last extracted one to play?*

I doubt that - with my eclectic and small c catholic tastes, they'll be worth eBaying (and I don't know if I can be arsed to bag them up for posting even if someone bought one.)

Then in another cupboard resided my minidisk player, expensively bought for me as a 50th birthday present and flown all the way to Hawai'i and back for our musical entertainment. It sat there with about 50 recordings of cd's and compilations, with only a couple of live recordings left to convert to mp3 stylee. And given that the medium never really took off in a big way, that'll definitely be a non-starter in the auction stakes.

Finally, the relatively small dvd collection got re-organised. Again it struck me that with tv's now coming as standard with built-in hard drives, it won't be long before even the pc-less of us will be able to download programmes and films on demand from an on-screen catalogue, rather than having to put up with what's offered by the broadcasters?

* having said that, I've just ordered two albums which weren't available from the iTunes store

Labels: Musicology

Today's lyric:
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"Waking up with an ugly face,
Winston Churchill in drag;
Looking for new maternal embrace,
Another tired old gag;
Am I just a walking bag of chewed up dust and bones...."

Eels: "Your lucky day in Hell"
From the album: "Beautiful Freak"

and only another 51 to go.

Enjoy your weekends, y'all..

Today's lyric:
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"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together?
In the kind of world where we belong."

The Beach Boys: "Wouldn't it be nice?"
From the album: "Pet Sounds"

to be one of the detectives - chosen from our apparently hard-pressed, under-resourced and inadequately-staffed pol1ce f0rce - to be going to Pakistan to investigate the assassination of Benazir Bhutto?

Just imagine. You rock up, have a quick shufty through the video clips that the entire world has already seen, point to a sorry collection of charred and mangled bones, declare "He did it" and then ask them to bring on the dancing girls?

That'll be a tough call, n'est-ce pas?

Labels: Uncynicage